Emily walked through the school for the next few days a bit more paranoid than usual. She wondered if anyone had heard how she had “enhanced” her punishment on Monday. It would most likely not seem ordinary to anyone.
Mr. Berger wasn’t going to ask any questions, of course. She knew that much.
But others might. Especially as the Dance progressed, and the moves got more intense and wild, it was going to be absolutely necessary to maintain control of the chaos shortly to ensue.
If she was going to achieve the final victory, and lock him in right where she wanted him, it was going to require that she reach that final moment at precisely the right time. Then she could snap the door shut on the trap, and her world would open up.
* * * *
She had left school on Monday and spent a lot of time her room. She had touched herself for hours and enjoyed every moment of it.
But she wasn’t proud of it. That wasn’t what it was about.
There was more to this charade than pleasing the secret down inside of her.
This was just a fun moment, but her goals were bigger and better.
* * * *
During the two days after the Monday paddling, Emily reflected a lot about how she got to the place she was in.
Emily had noticed that “something wasn’t right” when she was nine years old. It had been a book called Little House on the Prairie that her teacher had been reading.
In a particular chapter, the main character, Laura, receives a strapping from her father for slapping her sister in the face. Emily sat in the class, and as this passage ensued, her face grew red.
She didn’t want to think about spanking. To have her teacher up in front of the room and reading the passages about it was too much for her. She just wanted this to end. She wanted a new topic.
She was almost frozen in being upset.
To her little nine year old self, spanking was the scariest thing the world. Her parents had both used their hands on her bared behind a few times. The elementary school principal still brandished a paddle and showed it off to the classes on the first day of school each year when he went around and introduced himself.
Spanking was the scariest thing ever. The way adults got this happy chuckle on their faces when she and the other kids froze in fear when it was referenced, made it even scarier.
As a nine year old, she had sat there as the teacher read the passage. She was wishing the section could just move on.
Finally it did. Her face grew less red. Her breathe slowed. The story went on.
But then, unlike every other time she had been confronted by her greatest fear, something changed.
As the chapter from the classic children’s book concluded, Emily discovered a feeling she had never felt before.
She wanted more. This horrifying, scary aspect of her childhood life was thrilling now.
She wished she could have heard more details about Laura’s punishment. She wanted to replay the scene again and again.
This had been the moment in which Emily had changed forever.
The fear and terror associated with paddles, belt, bare butts, sessions over parents laps, hairbrushes with thick wooden backs, etc. was still around. But it was a fear she liked.
It was a fear she could play with. It was a fear that she understood.
It didn’t have to be a car accident. It could be a roller coaster.
* * * *
Mr. Berger had come into her world of knowledge pretty quickly as well. It seemed everyone knew who Mr. Berger was. He was the tough, athletic, biology teacher.
So often when she had heard middle aged men who had grown up in the town talk, their reminisces began with “you remember that time I got my ass busted my Berger…”
In Elementary School, an angry frustrated teacher would break down into and angry arm waving rant: “Well, just wait till you get to High School! Sure, I just give you a detention for talking in class, but when you get to High School you’ll have a real teacher like Mr. Berger! He won’t send you to the office or anything, he’ll just take you out and beat your butts real good!”
All this discussion of Mr. Berger, the big, tough, huge man, who seemed to define himself by his fame for giving out corporal punishment so harshly had made Emily wonder about things.
It seemed to her that Mr. Berger and her shared a “common interest.” It seemed he was just as passionate as she secretly was about a certain topic, and probably for the same reason.
* * * *
When Emily sat in biology class, she was in her normal, quiet girl mode.
Mr. Berger, however, was in an entirely different mood than normal. He didn’t greet the class with his gruff, abusive, angry manner.
Rather, his huge, bearded face bore a grin.
He was in his desk when Emily sat down, and he greet her with a big, toothy smile.
“Good afternoon, Emily.” He said.
Emily looked up a bit startled, and responded with a casual, quiet “Good Afternoon, Mr. Berger.”
She could tell that both she and Mr. Berger wanted the conversation to continue, but couldn’t find the right words.
Then the bell had rung, and it was time to begin the class.
Just like Emily, all the students in the class were a bit taken aback by his odd, polite, and happy mood. Mr. Berger wasn’t his usual rough self. He wasn’t walking about the class like an angry football coach giving a fiery pep talk, or a Hollywood General preparing for an epic battle.
He was cool and casual. He was in a mood they had all never seen before. He was relaxed.
Every moment or two his eyes would drift back over to Emily.
Emily thought to herself, and smiled. “Good,” She thought. “He’s got his guard down.”